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Originally Posted by Vasilisa  Faye, it might be really painful for you but I think at this point you have to keep your dignity and walk out of the relationship. If you don't do it now, you will have more misery and struggle and your relationship will end eventually anyway.
Why he needs you in his life? The answer is very simple. He feels very important when two women are in love with him, fighting over him, being jealous of each other. Without one of you two it wouldn't be the same.
It gives him high of adventure, of something risky in his life.
But there is nothing about You in his feelings. It' about his Narcissistic self.
Plus, it might be very serious relationship for you, but obviously not for him. If he was afraid to loose you he wouldn't hurt you that way.
Agreeing on that you are losing more and more value in his eyes. Instead of appreciation for understanding and patience he will look at you as at something with no value, no respect for yourself and no independence.
If you want to win in the situation you have to give him a choice - either it's only two of you or you are out.
If he doesnt' agree then he doesn't love you and need you enough and it wouldn't work out any way. |
i truly hope that this is not the way that he sees things. it's hard for me to believe that he does or could see me or any of this in such a cruel way. i believe that some people may function in this manner, but i do believe that he cares about my feelings and loves me and values me.
if he is a person who needs more than one person to be fullfilled, that means i can't fullfill him by myself -- that in itself is very hurtful to me. the thought of 'not being enough'. it is true that i am not very confident, and it is something that i work on -- but that idea all in and of itself is striking out at my lack of confidence even more. it makes me wonder if i can't handle this because of my lack of confidence? because i need to feel important?
that doesn't mean that he doesn't love me, i don't think. his eyes look like he loves me. i never had anyone to look at me this way.
i hope that this is all not as cruel as you say, but i will think about it.