Originally Posted by sheffy4
I have learned that two people who want to live life in very different ways cannot have a successful relationship.
You want to live a life in which you devote yourself to one intimate relationship.
He wants to live a life in which he is free to participate in many intimate relationships at once.
It sounds like you are trying to talk yourself into being ok with this situation when you are really not ok, and you will never be ok.
Don't look to the future and hope for something that may never happen. If you are not happy now, you will not be happy then.
the future is filled with things that may or may not ever happen. the problem is exactly how inevitable this is -- it's so inevitable that it is, in fact, happening and will happen again, even if this doesn't work.
i guess i am worried that it's some kind of wrong way of thinking in my head. that's where feelings come from right? from your experiences and how you are taught and things like that. your life. i figured that if i could alter my way of thinking truly -- truly come to see things in a different light .. maybe .. maybe something would be possible.. something could work where everyone can be happy.
i know it might seem like i am trying to 'change myself' -- but i feel more like i am trying to 'see the light' than anything, you know? it's like he has some kind of clarity that i don't have about something.
but yes, you're right. i do not want to delude myself or continue this with a secret wish that his other relationships just 'won't work out'. that would make me destructive toward him, and i do not want to impede his desides at all .