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JayFL · 04-21-2008, 05:31 PM

I've been reading these boards for quite awhile and have seen some great insight from many people. I hope I can get some perspective on this.

I had a 4 month relationship end around December and it was very devastating. We dated for four months and fell in love very quickly. She talked about marriage and kids. The down side was that I chose to ignore many red flags about her drinking, past relationships and even actions towards me that were not healthy or respectful.

It bacame apparent towards the end that things were not working. After a few episodes of her being emotionally abusive after drinking, she broke up with me. I pleaded and said I would work with her and do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. Her response was that she was just not on the path of self discovery like I was and wasn't ready to grow. She said she wasn't ready to face her demons and maybe she would be ready to grow at a later time.

At first I was very depressed and obssessive about the breakup, losing sleep, losing weight, no interest in anything. Then as time that grew into allot of anger towards her. Everytime we would have contact it would start in a nice way and then end up with me being very angry. I honestly feel ashamed about my behaivor and lack of self control when speaking to her. It got worse over the months to the point we have no contact at all. The problem is we live very close and cross paths every now and then.

Here I am over 4 months later, still obsessed, angry and consumed by this breakup. I look back to where I was this time last year before I met her and I'm a completely different person now. I have a very hard time feeling the joy for life that I had just a year ago.

My last two relationships have been this way. They move way too fast and then end abrubtly with me very angry at the other person. I'm 31 now and would love to just have a stable relationship with a person who is willing to work on themselves and the relationship to be a better person. How can I let go of this last one so I can get back to loving life again?

04-21-2008, 05:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
JayFL Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 8	Anger towards ex, just can't let go I've been reading these boards for quite awhile and have seen some great insight from many people. I hope I can get some perspective on this. I had a 4 month relationship end around December and it was very devastating. We dated for four months and fell in love very quickly. She talked about marriage and kids. The down side was that I chose to ignore many red flags about her drinking, past relationships and even actions towards me that were not healthy or respectful. It bacame apparent towards the end that things were not working. After a few episodes of her being emotionally abusive after drinking, she broke up with me. I pleaded and said I would work with her and do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. Her response was that she was just not on the path of self discovery like I was and wasn't ready to grow. She said she wasn't ready to face her demons and maybe she would be ready to grow at a later time. At first I was very depressed and obssessive about the breakup, losing sleep, losing weight, no interest in anything. Then as time that grew into allot of anger towards her. Everytime we would have contact it would start in a nice way and then end up with me being very angry. I honestly feel ashamed about my behaivor and lack of self control when speaking to her. It got worse over the months to the point we have no contact at all. The problem is we live very close and cross paths every now and then. Here I am over 4 months later, still obsessed, angry and consumed by this breakup. I look back to where I was this time last year before I met her and I'm a completely different person now. I have a very hard time feeling the joy for life that I had just a year ago. My last two relationships have been this way. They move way too fast and then end abrubtly with me very angry at the other person. I'm 31 now and would love to just have a stable relationship with a person who is willing to work on themselves and the relationship to be a better person. How can I let go of this last one so I can get back to loving life again? Last edited by JayFL; 04-21-2008 at 05:35 PM.