 Victory Through Failure
VICTORY THROUGH FAILURE
Nothing is more fruitful for man than the knowledge of his own shortcomings.
-’Abdu’l-Baha, Promulgation, p.244.
...you cannot lay remorse upon the innocent nor lift it from the heart of the guilty. Unbidden shall it call in the night, that men may wake and gaze upon themselves.
-Kahlil Gibran, Prophet, p.43.
Unbidden it called this morning, early,
heavy it laid upon my pillow and climbed
around my ears like a sleepy mosquito
who was only into dull roars. It headed
for my eyes and my shutting them had no
effect as it climbed right on into my brain,
slowly eating its way to my heart, stopping
on its way to burn my liver if it could-and it did.
I looked upon myself like some prisoner
whose regret was like some jail-cell barring
me from joy and colouring my morning with
the nethermost fire of remorse. I would be here
again, I thought, for I was so far from the
immortal Wine. And yet, and yet, I would
not be estranged from this Cause and these
vicissitudes of fortune would not draw me away
from my Goal: I hoped! I hoped! I hoped!
For I found meaning here, right here, in
these tribulations. I was not radiant, not happy;
I had not learned this yet, but I had learned
to search for meaning and this would have to do
and I did. The radiance came later, years later.
Weary, I stood at the window at dawn and watched
the rising sun. Slowly my eyes gladdened, invaded
and sustained with the fresh meaning of gold
and the subtle tempter, for the moment, slipped away.
My sense of fitness returned. Perhaps this fire
would be removed; perhaps it would go on for years.
For great forces churned inside me and tore me apart
and had all my days. Tremendous energies were
often released. I trust this will happen again perhaps
through my failures, yet again, yet again.
Ron Price
16 December 1995
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