Quote:
Originally Posted by The Cloud  Or maybe it's telling you that needing friends and a partner is what is making you miserable. If it hurts to want it, why want it? |
Cos I can't deny my feelings. When I'm hungry for example I might be able to manage it for a while - but it won't go away and eventually it'll get too much and i'll need to eat.
And it's something that has crept up on me suddenly - i am quite independent - i can eat out alone, go to the cinema etc. it doesn't phase me. But sometimes i want someone to share the experience with.
In a way I am doing what you suggest at the moment - i go out there and just do stuff on my own - but recently it feels fake. I try and tell myself i don't need friends to have fun - and i don't a lot of the time - but for certain activities its better with other people like the cinema, holiday and sometimes you need other people like going out to a club or having sex.
I know time is meant to be an illusion but i do feel my life is being wasted sitting here waiting for the universe to help me. Cos it's nearly summer now and nothing concrete is happening.
I suppose all i can do is keep on going out there on my own and pampering myself. But i'm scared of slipping - at home i can't concentrate. I've started to shake nervously and dig my nails into my skin. Reading or films/tele used to occupy me but i've lost all motivation for it at the moment so i just sleep must of the time or cry.