PianoManGidley, I like long posts
Perhaps you overinterpreted what I mean with
competition. I'm not saying that I want to become God and make others feel like animals...
What I'm saying is that in order to overcome the difference between amateur and professional - in any field, not just music - the newbie must have an idea of
what exactly must be achieved in order to become a
professional. Which measure, which
standard. That's what I meant with purpose.
Very often, whoever is at top sets a kind of measure for the rest of the professionals. Think of an athletic speed record in running. In order to be the next record-holder, you need to beat the previous record.
Obviously, I also started music with a passion for it. Otherwise I would have never even started. As a matter of fact I have no passion for running, so I don't care about who is the fastest runner in the world (I don't even know his or her name). However, I do care about great composers like Wagner and Rachmaninov.
Imagine that you
invented the piano and were the first person who ever played it.
How would you know what it means to be a good piano player?
You are enjoying it, playing on your own for yourself, OK, but probably you're the one setting the first standard.
I also enjoy the music when I perform very basic pieces such as Joplin's Entertainer.
However, how would I know how to make my performance sound better, cleaner and more enjoyable if I didn't hear someone else better than me performing it?
How would I even know
what and how to practice?
By competing I actually try to achieve two purposes: enjoying the game (like at any competitive game such as chess or cards) and reaching a standard set by a master (or becoming a master myself).
I also compose, despite having no formal music education. My friends often say how nice it is and try to make me feel important with many compliments (REWARD!). However, I know that if I listen to their compliments and accept them I will stay a
newbie...
So I look at professional and historical composers, keep learning about music theory whenever I have time, keep experimenting new things.
But I wouldn't call myself a "composer" since that would also be arrogant towards who really is (e.g. John Williams, Yann Tiersen, Morricone, etc. but even the minor professionals who make a living by composing soundtracks for advertisements and cartoons).
What all this has to do with rewarding myself?
Well, as I said, whenever someone says "Wow, you're really good, you're a great composer!" I start feeling very
rewarded and
important.
But I know that if I feel like that I won't carry on practising. I will pause, relax, try to show off my skills, etc.
I need someone to remind me that I'm still a rookie and need to get better :P