Well, I see this as three separate issues.
1. Your relationship with your wife is not fulfilling.
2. You don't love your life.
3. You are having a spiritual crisis of sorts.
Here's what I would do.
1. It's time to make a decision about how to evolve your relationship with your wife. This requires that you be honest with her about the situation you've found yourself in. You need more companionship and intimacy, but you're not able to tell her that you need those things. Why? Do you feel guilty about wanting companionship and intimacy? Why? Are you scared to tell her that you need those things? Why?
There is no need to feel guilty about this. Companionship and intimacy are good things! We aren't here to be alone and depressed, but to be loved, and to share our love. Feeling trapped and afraid, like you are feeling now, is a bad feeling. Tell your wife how you feel. You are a very authentic and genuine person, and hiding these feelings inside yourself is killing you. There is no need for that. Stop hiding, please.
2. You don't love your life because you aren't being true to yourself. You need to get real. Be honest! It may hurt at first, and it may take some practice, being honest is a continuous learning experience. But hiding your true self and the love you have to share is no way to live.
3. You're having a spiritual crisis, because, well, the Bible has some very mixed messages. They are all over the place in there.
I would recommend checking out
A Course In Miracles. It is a much better source to help understand Jesus's teachings of love and peace than the Bible. ACIM is all online at that link, but I would buy the real book too so you can read it anywhere and do the exercises.
All the best on your journey fixthis4me. I know you'll be able to reconnect to your authentic self again very soon.
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.
Love and warm wishes,