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Originally Posted by ladonna  i think it is mainly my insecurities. |
I think you hit the nail on the head. This isn't about your husband or his old girlfriends. It's about your insecurities.
This is just my experience, but whenever I feel insecure, I am trying to control something that I cannot, which is everything except me. So I try even harder, because now I feel insecure... and my insecurity increases. I've destroyed more than a few great relationships with this kind of self-sabotage.
The answer is to let go.
How does one let go? Here it is in three steps:
1. I accept that someone else is in control: God or whatever you want to call it. It doesn't really matter who I think this Power is, just as long as it's not me. It could be an imaginary friend: as long as she is in charge of the universe, it's cool.
2. I'm grateful to this Power for giving me life and everything that comes with it. A lot of people talk about gratitude, probably because it works.
3. (this is the real kicker), I forgive everyone that has ever done me wrong. I forgive them even if I don't think they deserve it. To forgive literally means to give up. Resentment and anger takes up a lot of energy. It's like wearing a heavy pair of boots. You don't realize how heavy they are until you take them off.
I'm sure there are other ways. Those are just mine.
Thanks for bringing this up. I needed a reminder.