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Originally Posted by Pilkington sometimes i can say a cocky thing or a mean thing, though i try to stay humble and i do apologize if i know i've hurt someones feelings with a joke for example. |
I think it's never too good to apologize too quickly. Allow yourself to be cocky if you want to. You'll first notice some resistance (especially with girls), which makes you want to apologize. However if you stay cocky and keep your cocky frame (if that's what you feel like), you'll notice that after the resistance the girl will smile and say something like "hey you're so mean !" (but with a smile).
Like Jim says, stop apologising for what you are and/or want to be. It's ok to be you
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Originally Posted by Pilkington However, i've only dated a couple girls, and instead i get "Oh, your such a good friend." Which in turn leads for a lot of nice friendships, which i don't mind. They start coming to me for advice, which i don't mind giving, but most of the time it's advice about how much they like my best friend |
If you don't feel like giving advice to these girls about your friend, just don't. Tell them that you're not a personal advisor. If you want a close relationship and they propose you a "just be friends" relationship, you're not obliged to accept. (You can but only if you consciously choose to).
Once I was dating a girl and she started telling me about her ex-boyfriend that sent her text messages just before the date. She wanted to show me the text and ask for advice about what to do because it was a weird text.
I just answered that I didn't want to read the text because it was not my business and I didn't want to give her advice. I prefered to just get to know her better.
She was surprised because of this answer first...Then she thought about it and said "you're right actually, I think it's a good reaction" or something like that.
Then we had a really good date.
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All you can do is not feel sorry for yourself and wait for Ms. Right to come along (or help fate a little by going to places she might be).
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In addition to what Jim says here, I'd say that you can not only go to places she might be but also train to grow your comfort zone and start a conversation more often.
All the best to you