I thank Jamie and brendannz for advice and support. Your words really helped me.
Angie, as usual, you start interesting dialogue, so I answer your questions:
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Is that really true? Jamie doesn't (..want to hurt...). I don't. No one on these forums does. Your mom doesn't. And there are billions of people who don't have any inclination whatsoever. Who is this "almost everyone" you are so sure wants to hurt you?
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Well, actually my mother _does_ (a long story for many hours of talking). As for the forum members - true, that's why I started this thread
. This is my only outlet, where I can share my feelings without fear (almost). As for the "almost everyone" - I mean most of the people I have to contact with. I must be honest, there are rare exclusions. There are people I'm not afraid of.
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You sure about that? Do you think it's possible to come to people with love, happiness, and an open heart, when you are holding the belief that most of them want to hurt you?
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Actually, when I do this, I hold the beleif that I'm safe and they're my friends. For sure, without doubts. _That_ other beleif comes after their actions.
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Why, does it (SR) harm you? What about that open heart you were talking up?
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Well, I was over-stressed and I wasn't ready to hear "you've made it by yourself, now make something better".
Yes, I'm strongly involved, indeed. I have very sensitive, reactive neural system. It's very easy to touch my feelings, both positive and negative. So, now I'm considering going without any (even slightest) stimulators or drugs (sigh...bb, green tea...), and switching to calming teas and meditation. Let's make something better
