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Originally Posted by Tim Brownson  Anglea, I'm a tad surprised to hear a coach say that she wants to delve into somebody's past and get to a trigger point. To me that is the fundamental difference between coaching and counseling, coaching looks to the future. I don't give a damn about the clients past other than as background info and I certainly never go digging around in it. What happens with clients who don't know the initial event that caused their problems? Also, what hapens if you uncover an event that you're not trained to deal with such as abuse or trauma? What is your bail out option? |
Tim, I'm pretty sure that is only one of the aspects of my coaching that would surprise you; there are many ways my coaching is very different from traditional life coaching. And it's nothing at all like therapy or counseling. I am certainly not a therapist! My coaching (I call it ALEGRIA Coaching, just because I love acronyms so much) looks to the past and to the future, but really it is all about the present moment, right now.
It's not for everyone. If you are suicidal or dealing with mental illness, I will not coach you with this method. ALEGRIA is for healthy people who would like to have a breakthrough in living a life they love. I know that one of my challenges is attracting the right coachees and not disappointing people who won't benefit from my coaching; also I run the risk of people who try to "fool" me or themselves about their coachability. That's one of the reasons I'm taking my time -- setting up guidelines and an agreement, one of which is that you must be willing to take 100% responsibility for living a life you love -- at least for the two and half hours or so that the coaching takes. After that, you can go back to the way you were, if you want to!
Of course, that necessarily limits my potential coachees to an exclusive group!
One requirement for my coaching people is that they be willing to trust me, and that lets out a whole 'nuther big group! After reading what I write, and speaking to me personally, folks either will be willing to trust me or they won't. The people who aren't willing to trust me, or to take 100% responsibility, will not be charged, of course.
It's not necessary to get the very first incident, by the way; often it's easier to "sneak up" on the initial incident and use the first incident
you can remember, which may be only a year or two ago. Generally, the earlier the memory, the deeper the breakthrough. But rewards can be begun now regardless of how old the incident is, and I'm finding that once people start the ball rolling, they can usually unpeel insight after insight, and go as deep as they feel comfortable, and as far as is perfect for them at this time. This is all done during the email phase of the coaching. If for some reason someone just can't get to any insight at all (this has never happened, knock wood!) there wouldn't be any reason to go further with the phone portion, and of course, the person would not be charged.
Abuse or trauma? EVERYBODY I've talked to, in coaching or not, has memories of abuse or trauma. So far I haven't triggered any psychotic episodes with the questions I ask, but you are right that it's wise to consider that possibility. I've heard some pretty disturbing upsets, and the interesting thing has been that the more present people have been to their feelings, the more miraculous and astonishing are their breakthroughs. I don't intend to "bail out" on anyone. But my psychiatrist is standing by in case I need help!
Thanks for asking these questions; it helps me very much to articulate my thoughts.
Lots of love,
Angela