HW4B, I might have added the word "willing" to what I suggested to you. What are you willing to let go of, and what are you willing to generate? If you're not willing, you're not gonna do it right now. One way to generate willingness, as you know, is to look at the price you pay and the price others pay for your thoughts, and then to look at what inspires you out of that.
Here are two of the thoughts you expressed in your post that jumped out at me (and you might want to read your own post now and see what jumps out at you):
I am responsible for others, I don't have time for myself, and I am burned out.
While believing the thought "I am responsible for my kids" might be working for your very well in living a life you love, you might want to take a closer look at your beliefs about what exactly you're responsible for. For instance, how much of this "responsibility" is habitual and how much is authentic? You may find that by feeling "responsible" in some ways you are robbing your kids of learning how to care for themselves, or you may find that, especially for your 16 year old, your beliefs about caretaking are long outdated. I don't know what you'll find, but I'm suggesting you just take a close look, and see what you might be willing to let go of in that area.
As for yourself, it certainly sounds like you are struggling to put their oxygen mask on first, instead of your own. You do others no favor by not making your well-being your first priority. Is there something you would be willing to generate in that area?
You might find it comes back to the "worthless" thing, and you might find something new entirely to let go of or to generate. Look closely.  |