Not a popular opinion here...
But I've been with "guy" guys, skinny male poets, and women.
My healthiest relationships were with the "guy" type guys... guys who were strongly male identified (this does not mean macho jerk!), had mostly male friends, and did male bonding stuff with their male friends.
My relationships with the more feminine guys and with women have really been problematic in terms of healthy boundaries, weird emotional games, the other person being emotionally high maintenance and having my entire identity sucked up by the other person.
There were things that were frustrating about the male-identified men but it was a tangible kind of frustration in that I knew what to expect day in and day out. |