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C33 · 04-15-2008, 06:44 PM

This is a great thread.

I am child free by choice now, but before that I was childfree by circumstances( not having found a man who could qualify as a father). I used to have dreams about being a mom in my early 20s, but I always pictured it as happening AFTER having reached my personal and professional goals.

In my late 20s, I realised, after having taken care of over 100 kids as a nanny, babysitter, teacher...that I didn't want kids. It's not the kids I don't want, as I love children, but it's the sort of life you lead when you have them.
Also, I am more a lover than a mother, more a creator than a procreator and do not have the need to take care of someone to feel whole or complete.

I do feel a lot of love towards children and a responsibility towards them, as far as not giving them a world that's ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and polluted.

I don't think children should be a career choice, or a form of therapy, where your aborted dreams, lack of ambition, unfulfilled promises have to be realised through the medium of another human being;

I think it's better to opt out than to have to look a child in the eyes and say: because of you I could never do this and that...or you are breaking my heart because you were supposed to do X,Y,Z to make me happy.

I think that if you really love children, you will find a way to be in their lives, be around them and make a difference no matter what your title will be: mommy,auntie, teacher, friend, substitute granny...

There is no shortage of children and certainly they need all the love they can get.

04-15-2008, 06:44 PM	#14 (permalink)
C33 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 623	This is a great thread. I am child free by choice now, but before that I was childfree by circumstances( not having found a man who could qualify as a father). I used to have dreams about being a mom in my early 20s, but I always pictured it as happening AFTER having reached my personal and professional goals. In my late 20s, I realised, after having taken care of over 100 kids as a nanny, babysitter, teacher...that I didn't want kids. It's not the kids I don't want, as I love children, but it's the sort of life you lead when you have them. Also, I am more a lover than a mother, more a creator than a procreator and do not have the need to take care of someone to feel whole or complete. I do feel a lot of love towards children and a responsibility towards them, as far as not giving them a world that's ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and polluted. I don't think children should be a career choice, or a form of therapy, where your aborted dreams, lack of ambition, unfulfilled promises have to be realised through the medium of another human being; I think it's better to opt out than to have to look a child in the eyes and say: because of you I could never do this and that...or you are breaking my heart because you were supposed to do X,Y,Z to make me happy. I think that if you really love children, you will find a way to be in their lives, be around them and make a difference no matter what your title will be: mommy,auntie, teacher, friend, substitute granny... There is no shortage of children and certainly they need all the love they can get.