Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - The Ugly Duckling Effect. (How do I handle being pretty?)

blueberry · 04-13-2008, 09:24 PM

I feel silly because in this perfect world in my head, I should be a perfect person who doesn't have to learn any of these silly life lessons!

Don't even try to touch that.

I already know. I'm getting good at kicking that evil perfectionist inside of my head off my Mental Council but they keep trying to sneak back in. I'd be more harsh in disciplining that part of myself but I understand that they only feel that way because they need more love and acceptance.

I value honesty highly too. In fact, that's the only real way I know how to express myself. I've discovered being 100% authentic and honest is the way I want to live my life and I want to extend that courtesy to everybody I deal with. But I have a feeling that this may not be the best approach in more casual situations that other people may handle in a more subtle way - while still getting the message across. I feel very shy to flat out state my intentions about a person if my suspicions about their attraction are subtle cues that happen BENEATH the conversation. I feel like it would be rude to bring attention to it in a way that would make the other person feel awkward or rejected. And I don't mind being harmlessly flirted with if that's all that's really going on. I just want to respect my boundaries and not give any wrong impressions.

04-13-2008, 09:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
blueberry Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 55	I feel silly because in this perfect world in my head, I should be a perfect person who doesn't have to learn any of these silly life lessons! Don't even try to touch that. I already know. I'm getting good at kicking that evil perfectionist inside of my head off my Mental Council but they keep trying to sneak back in. I'd be more harsh in disciplining that part of myself but I understand that they only feel that way because they need more love and acceptance. I value honesty highly too. In fact, that's the only real way I know how to express myself. I've discovered being 100% authentic and honest is the way I want to live my life and I want to extend that courtesy to everybody I deal with. But I have a feeling that this may not be the best approach in more casual situations that other people may handle in a more subtle way - while still getting the message across. I feel very shy to flat out state my intentions about a person if my suspicions about their attraction are subtle cues that happen BENEATH the conversation. I feel like it would be rude to bring attention to it in a way that would make the other person feel awkward or rejected. And I don't mind being harmlessly flirted with if that's all that's really going on. I just want to respect my boundaries and not give any wrong impressions.