I'd say years of enthousiasm > sudden and unexplained fear.
You now have two gut feelings and one of them is false. Which one do you think it is? The one that has been driving you for years, not only earning your enthousiasm but that from others as well? Or the one that popped up recently for no apparent reason?
No, wait, there is a reason: fear of the unknown, also known as the 'what if?' demon. I know what you're going through, because that same demon has held me back many times before... and I always proved it wrong. Problems that seemed big won't arise at all, or will be so small that you have no idea why you were worried about them in the first place. This fearful, darker side of you wants to keep things as they are: nice and predictable. And the minute you think of stepping out of your comfort zone, it will shriek and wail in protest. This instinct has served us well when we were still living in caves: it kept us from entering dangerous areas, challenging unknown opponents, or eating suspicious looking fruit that could be poisonous when there was a perfectly safe alternative growing right next to it. It is perfectly natural to have this fear, but in this case, it's unreasonable. Going through with your plans won't kill you and you can always quit if it indeed becomes too much.
Go out there and shine! It's what you are here for!  |