[kellimaier]

I want to say something but it is hard to say it just right. I mean this with respect and good intentions.

My husband has metastatic lung cancer.
I find it hard to accept the idea of "hopeless"
I find it even harder to be graceful about it.

None the less I have handed the situation to God....to the best of my ability.

Do I worry that I will miss a life lesson if I decide that it isn't hopeless?
Not really.
I feel that I have learned quite a lot by maintaining hope and letting God decide.
But to simply say "Oh well" and let it be hopeless...no.
I can't do that. I can not see how this could help even a little bit.

I do see where it can hurt.
Deciding it is all hopeless can mean that two little girls are learning to value family time more because it is now very different and more difficult to have and could be even more so one day. They have been told the truth. They know he may not get better. But if they believed for certain that he would not get better this would mean they are watching him ( the only Father they have known) die instead of helping to care for him by telling jokes and saying "I love you".
If he decides there is no hope...what will be the quality of his life? If indeed the Doctors are correct ( they gave him a week to a month to live...he has passed that...so perhaps they are not always correct. ) ...if he is to die soon. What will be the remainder of his life be? For him it will be filled with fear and mourning. Yes...he will mourn for us ...for what he is to leave behind for certain.
But with hope, one can prepare just in case, but one can also glimpse another possibility.
Accepting that something is hopeless is not in all cases a matter of just letting go and learning from the situation. Sometimes it is letting yourself be defeated and cheating yourself out of what could be the joyous experience of being ...hopeful.
I dare say...never accept something as hopeless. Instead accept that you may not control the outcome and then proceed with love and expectations that the best solution will come.