I've been that girl - so perhaps I can offer my experiences.
I started a new relationship just 4 months after my fiancé committed suicide.
When the guy was nice to me (as all new boyfriends are), I felt suffocated. I didn't have enough emotional space inside myself to deal with another person's needs. He wanted to be close, and I felt a survival instinct to run away. I couldn't help myself. I ended up hurting this guy tremendously.
Right now, this girl is not ready. It's not you - any guy in your situation would be facing the same behaviors from her. What she really needs is time.
I suggest you let her know that you really care about her, and that perhaps you both can revisit the idea of a relationship again in another 6 months. Be clear that you are still interested, but you really feel that this space would benefit you both.
Now, during this 6 months - don't contact her. Even if she contacts you. She needs to use that needy energy to examine herself. If you give her attention, she has an excuse not to do self-work.
If she's someone worth having a relationship with, she will come back to you in 6 months, and love you and appreciate you even more. If she runs off with another guy - then the relationship was doomed anyways.
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