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Originally Posted by Jennihul  To me, the deadbeat dad is the CEO who, out of spite for having to pay child support and/or alimony, quits and goes to work at a tire center. Or hides his income completely by working under the table. Or let's his new gf or wife spend him into bankruptcy and blows off his kids.
Most are guys just trying to earn a living.
The moral of the story is: once you give the "gift" of your sperm, you will have no control over how it used. Don't be stupid. Don't have kids unless you are in a solid relationship and if you are in a solid relationship, protect yourself and your rights very quickly if things begin to sour. How many men, desiring that the estranged relationship magically revert back to the "way it was" totally go into denial until some lawyer rapes them and tells them what their reality is going to be? Instead of pro-actively working out their own version of reality before it's too late?
Jennifer |
Most guys mate for life, I don't have stats to back this up but I would venture a solid guess that more than 2/3's of divorces are initiated by women.
So when a man does get married, he is invested in the relationship, it is solid for him, and for many men, they're clueless about relationship health and what they have to do to keep it healthy. Women have alot more power in today's relationships and as such men are losing their place in relationships and in society in general. You can't be a man because that means you're insensitive & chauvinist & not involved enough in the relationship, you can't be sensitive because you're too clingy & needy and don't focus enough on your own needs and invest all your energy into the relationship and leave little for yourself. There is no middle ground unfortunately for most men. Another thing I would point out and again I don't have stats handy to back this up, I bet you there is a decline in overall marriage rates - people are preferring to stay single because they're afraid of getting divorced. 1st time Divorce rates are skyrocketing, 2nd & 3rd time divorce rates are even higher and no one seems to be asking the question about what this dilemna is being caused by. Also another thing to look into, suicide rates for divorced men, I bet you that's another stat that's on an increasing trend: men are slowly being pushed out of the equation and having no place left to exist, paying crazy $$$ amounts for spousal & child abuse and having nothing left to exist on for themselves and yet it continues. Society overall is really in a downward spiral and this is one facet of that problem.
Where do men go when there is no place left for them to go? Why do men have to be weekend dads? Why is it assumed that a man can't offer just as fulfilling a parenting role as the mother? With divorce being so prevalent we're also just reinforcing a pattern of behavior for our children to follow, it's ok to get divorced, it's no longer a question of if, it's almost a fact that you will get divorced - it's pretty sad.