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Originally Posted by Mato Kinze  The message that burned into you was a good one. You internalized the Path. However, you do need to understand that the Path of the Warrior (not the sorcerer - as the Toltec Path is all about being a Warrior) is not one of comfort. If you are uneasy, (uneasy does NOT equal fearful) it means you're doing it right. If you EVER feel "adequate" then you are not seeing clearly, and as you pointed out, without clarity, there is no Power. If you ever feel comfortable, then you are not pushing yourself and are not doing your best. Always doing your best is one of the most fundamental aspects of living the warrior's life.
You also missed a step which is important; that of being a person of Knowledge.
If you found Castaneda too dark, you might try Don Miguel Ruiz. His first book, "The Four Agreements" is a good place to start to help you get over the esotericism (is that a real word??) of Castaneda and his writing style. |
This pushing seems very unnatural to me. There are things I only find when I let go, I rest, I feel at ease. Only then I can truly enjoy life. This impeccability seems a good idea, but it makes me not enjoy life, because I'm often not at ease. Castaneda to me is frenetic, feverlike, it's like putting a very big pressure on your life. And sometimes it helps to reach special places, most of the time though I feel detached from what I really want to do.