Well done on finally making the break. It can be hard to break free.
I had a horrible relationship that I look back at now and think 'why did I put up with that?' but the reality for me at the time was that I felt completly responsible for his happiness.
I kept trying to leave after each of his 'episodes' but each time I did he was so sorry and cried so much that I felt sorry for him and I felt responsible for causing him so much pain. I'm guessing that you feel much of that same responsibility for your ex's happiness. I can't think how many 'last chances' I gave him.
Funnily enough, when I left he said he hadn't realised I really meant it the last time that his 'last chance' really was a last chance and this time he really would change. (Yeah right!)
After I finally left it took months of phonecalls, suicide threats, him turning up at random times with gifts etc before he finally left. I had to be strong every single time and put up with emotional abuse and accusations, it did stop in the end. It was definitely the right decision, just wish I had done it sooner!
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