[Jamie]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

This is bitterness.

Ignoring the fact that you're bitter doesn't make you less bitter; it makes you more bitter. You do not solve a problem by sweeping it under the rug; you solve it by facing it, getting hurt, and dealing with it.

In the most part, I agree with you Michael.

'Bitterness' is only a word; but the energy, hurt and pain which it describes, may well be in my system, stored up in my body as emotion, and in my mind as thought patterns. It's up to me to be aware of no-good emotions or mental patterns, to acknowledge them, 'process' and release them.

It may also be problematic in the sense that it somewhat inhibits free, easy, and spontaneous interactions with women. However, I am finding more and more that, that's just the kind of interactions I am having with women. Maybe I've gone past some cut off point, past caring (concern) or something.

I think I do accept the wholeness of myself, or at least, I'm getting there, and it is a process.

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

I was briefly inclined to respond to each of your paragraphs in detail, but I think you'd rather I didn't, may it help you or not.

It's tricky mate, there are so many faceats to all this, and it's easy for me to feel overwhelmed by all the different points; rather than picking out one issue at a time and debating that. It's also something of an emotive topic for me.

One thing I strongly feel though, is the importance of being true to oneself, understanding and accepting ourselves (though it's fine too, to develop and grow and change). It's more important to be true to ourselves, than it is to be in relationship. There's probably other things that are more important, and it may well be a useful exercise (for guys struggling with this stuff), to list them or be mindful of them. Good to realise that being in relationship isn't THE most important thing in life.

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

I'll simply end with this:
9—Enneagram Type Nine: The Peacemaker-Overview

While I am entirely unqualified to guess at your Enneagram Type (ignoring the trifling detail of whether or not the system is valid), I think that reading that webpage will give you insight into yourself and aid you in your growth.

Thanks for the link Michael, I may well take a look sometime.

I'm finding my own way through this though, and that feels right, for me. I do appreciate your taking the time to post, and to dig out the link.

Thanks once again for all your comments.

Jamie.