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Originally Posted by missing  And finally, to your thought that there is "plenty of opportunity to meet a great woman" I both agree and disagree. Well to be more direct I agree. There is plenty of opportunity. But it's not going to come to you, you need to go meet "it" and that takes work and dedication, and I'm not so sure it's worth it, or even realistic. Especially when you consider your 12-15/training wheel analogy again, to which I suppose I would be the kind of person who "missed out" those formative years and now must do the "extra work" to catch up. Incidentally this process is far worse a road block for men than women, as we are the expected initiators. We are expected to put ourselves on the line where women not so much. Not going to say this is right or wrong but from this perspective I think it's easy to see where a subtle kind of misogyny might develop amongst shy guys. |
I tend to resonate with this; but it also strikes me that men can be just as they are, and if you accept yourself, without trying to force yourself in to any mold, just be natural, you can talk to women, and have interactions with them, and it's all good. That's kinda where I am now, I don't expect or need anything back, and I can have an honest interaction and say just what I feel or think (but no 'gushing'), and I feel less need to please or to gain approval.
As guys, we don't have to expect things to go further than that. I think the problem comes when as a guy, you feel you have jump through hoops, or be like this or that (some idealised image of mr perfect), or otherwise distort our being. In fact, I suspect, the more willing we are to jump through hoops and not be true to ourselves, the less attractive we are to women.
Though I think we should concern ourselves, with being true to oursevels, more than with being attractive to women.