Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurora  Well from my pont of view, I don't go from friend to lover "like that".
If there ever was an interest on a level that could sooner or later result in being lovers - it's there all along.
Attraction is a damn hard thing to define and pinpoint. I know that I fall for individuals that make a non-verbal (and sometimes verbal) statement of confidence and feeling good about themselves.
If someone doesn't like themselves enough it makes a statement of something fishy going on.. I do accept insecurities about some things, but not being comfy being yourself is a definitive turnoff. |
Yeah but speaking for the average frustrated chumps out there. In other words, speaking for myself, the postings here reflect what leaves the frustrated chumps feeling even more frustrated is that when we ask, we get advice like this! And other vague and paradoxical lines like "strong but vulnerable", that don't mean much except "We're looking for the kind of man we like and if you're not it then bad luck".
What losers like me want is a boot camp. I don't have the faintest idea about romance. I'm rubbish at communication. If I was the man you want I wouldn't be asking the questions I'd just be doing it but when a girl starts showing me she's interested I just start worrying about my first move. I'm useless.
The best conversation I have ever had on the subject is with a girlfriend and her flatmate, another girl of course, who were happy to run through a few specifics like holding a door open a letting her go first, which doesn't say a lot but it is meaningful and tangible and it makes sense because my brain is going "ah, I see, yes, be the leading male". Help! Saying things like "strong but vulnerable" doesn't mean anything to me. If I pulled a train along with my teeth but bruised my knee badly would that mean strong but vulnerable? See what I mean, we need detail like "take my coat when I come in and pull out my chair at the dinner table. A bottle of wine is better than flowers and a French Cabernet Sauvignon is better than an Australian Merlot but don't bring Champagne it means you're trying to impress".
You don't get it. Men never get deportment and finishing school. We don't get lessons on manners. Or at least, some of us don't and the ones who didn't, me for example, are messed up for life because outside of the family there is nowhere to learn, so if your parents are both sociopathic layabouts and you only got born because they couldn't be bothered to buy any condoms and anyway sex without is hornier, nine months later and BANG a baby with no hope in life is born.
The twist of the dagger is that women don't like men they have to teach loving to. They want to be swept off their feet and not be telling him how to hold a knife and fork. That means if you're an AFC then all that happens is you get overlooked for the man who knows how to behave. Come on girls, I give up. The losers in life want to know how to become gentlemen and, let's be honest, you could do with a few more of them, so come on girls, what turns you on?