Jamie, no one said you were a misogynist. But now that you mention it!
You insist that you don't "hate" women, but you do declare that you mistrust and despise most women. What do you think being a misogynist means?
I read (in "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell) about a study in which therapists were able to watch videos of people and determine within some incredible degree of accuracy which couples would divorce, based solely on body language that expressed contempt. Contempt, they said, is the single most reliable predictor of failure in a relationship. I've had a few relationships, and I've witness a bunch of them, and I have to agree that contempt is a killer of love -- love just won't thrive where there is contempt.
Although you insist that you're at peace, etc., the contempt you hold for women rings loud and clear in your posts here. You may find it valuable to look boldly at how it is that very contempt that is having you not be happy in relationships with women -- it's not them, it's you! (Well, I say that alot to everybody. It's
always you, not them.
)
I don't mean to tell you there is anything wrong with you, and you certainly don't have to absorb anything I or anyone else here tells you. I just want to ask you with great love and well-wishing: don't you think it's worth considering, if the payoff is that you get love, connection, great sex, affection, partnership? Isn't it a risk worth taking, to consider taking a new tack?