Dear missing,
There really is very little bitterness in me, and it only comes up if I dwell on, or think about the situation.
In life, and I think for all people, when there's something that's troubling us, and we don't know the solution, it's often better to just let it go, and put it to one side; then go focus on something else. Our own bodies know what's best, if we just stop thinking about things, things tend to resolve themsevles.
So that's just what I've done here, and I've found the focusing on something else to be quite a good thing. Work, spiritual growth, connecting with myself, doing things I love with my life. It's by no means a bad situation with me, and I genuinely find that my life is fine, being single.
In contrast, when I think about having a girl friend, I have so many negative assosiations with that, it's something I prefer to avoid. Are my negative assosiations grounded in reality? who knows! However, I do have them (and recognise them for what they are). I see the whole chasing women, being in relationship with a woman, to be a complete pain in the a$$, and more trouble than it's worth, and not at all nourishing and wholesome.
With the last girl friend I had (not had many), I confided in her, trusted her, was honest and open, and vulnerable with her; big mistake! When the relationship ended, she flipped out on me, and spread rumours and shared the private information I'd told her, with all and sundry; in an attempt to hurt and injure me.
Life experience, and also my own observations, as to the nature of people, make me very cautious about having anything to do with women.
Of course, men and women, have the exact same capacity for being 'good' or 'bad' people, and there is much variation within both genders. I'm not saying all women are bad or anything; as I've said before, we're all 'life' and all come from the same source.
I'm choosing not to dwell on bitterness. I can take or leave people, and for the most part, I'm easy going and natural and spontaneous. I certainly do not accept the sentiment that I'm a misogonist, or elitist; that's simply not true.
I really think that not making an effort, is the best way to go, in forging relationships with people. Also, that the most important issue, is the love you feel within youself; I think it's completely possible, and acceptable, to find the love and acceptance within yourself, and have less need to go looking for it from other people. It's ok for it to come from other people, of course, and to be open to that is fine. Just to not go looking for it, because you've already found that within, is fine too.
I hope that makes some sense. It's a subtle thing. I also appologise if I was harsh with anyone; I kinda felt like I was being branded a misogonist. Maybe I am, I dunno, I am what I am; and I totally accept that we create our own realities (based on our beliefs, and the energies we project, or allow to remain with us).
Perhaps I have some mis-trust and also fear of women (am sure I do). I'm not sure; but I suspect that a greater fear I have, is of losing my natural state. It's like our bodies know what's best for us, in a way more subtle, and profound way that what out intellect or minds tell us. Hence, while I appreciete your solutions are well meant, the most appropriate solution, I feel, is to do nothing, and just listen to my own body.
I don't know if I'm bitter or not! It's like I say, I only feel bitter when I dwell on the situation. Most of the time, I'm quite serene and at peace, and have love in my heart.
Jamie.
