Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfgang  If there's a universal trait that is attractive - it's someone that knows themselves and likes who they are. It doesn't matter as much what you are as long as you know what it is. It's a confidence, maybe - but not even that because if you know that you aren't confident and are ok with that - that is attractive too. People that know themselves are easy to understand and "get". They are naturally humorous and humorous with themselves. They don't make excuses for being how they are or think they need to be drastically different, yet they know there are things to learn about themselves too.
At least that's what I find attractive. Someone that knows themselves. |
Spot on, wolfgang. There is nothing more attractive than somebody who genuinely likes him- or herself, and there is nothing more unattractive than somebody who does not.
I've given up trying to get people to like me. I was always trying to modify something about me; to add some desirable quality that will make me attractive. It was exactly that habit -- which is really just an exercise in self-rejection -- that kept people away.
Seeking the approval of others is the cause of this. I was an 'approval junkie'... I lived for those moments where somebody would be visibly impressed by something I said or did. Terrible habit I didn't even know I had.
Identify every instance in which you are trying to 'look good' to somebody else, and recognize it as the bad habit it is. Look good to
yourself, and make no excuses for who you are or what you want. Anybody who is not interested is simply not interested; it's nothing you said or did or wore. You never have to worry about that if you are not trying to impress anybody.
When you are truly indifferent to whether you receive approval or adoration for others, people will be attracted to you. It's like magic.
Be easy on yourself.