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Originally Posted by Jamie  I don't know that I am the source of it Angela.... Sometimes I feel like the majority of women are that way; yep, I know it's probably not true, but it is how I feel at times. |
That is how you are sourcing it -- by thinking thoughts that most women are such and such, you are having your whole world occur for you as a world full of such and such women. Imagine if you were the source of "I love women!" thoughts. "Women are doing the best they can, just like I am, and I am totally having fun learning about how to be joyful and connected with women!" Your entire world would be different, the women in your life would be responding to you in a new way, and you would be attracting women with whom you can joyfully connect. You might be thinking, "nah, I'd just be delusional." and that would be more sourcing, too!
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But you're right, it doens't feel good to be despised. It doens't create a good feeling for me either (from being on the recieving end of it for so long), and in some deeper ways, it's no so important if your the giver or reciever of it.
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That is a very wise and valuable insight.
You seem to have it that your despising is something that *happens to you* -- like it's an external force that works upon you. That has you feeling like a paper boat on the sea. A powerful way to "process" that is to try on a new way of being, one that works better, and inspire yourself. You can live your life like a paper boat on the sea if you want to, but what if you were to try on being the captain of your own steamliner? Or maybe even Neptune?
