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Originally Posted by Jamie  Ah, you're suggesting that I'm a snob and elitist in my thinking? (that I consider myself to be better than other people etc). |
You seem chilled which I respect and I'm sorry for being so abrupt. In fact it's really none of my business but I was trying to get you to see in yourself what I see in myself: fear. Or to be more precise, fear of having your ego hurt by girls not treating you the way your ego thinks you should be treated. Thing is with these ego constructs you can never be on the same level as somebody else- you are either above them (the ego construct you have created, where nobody is interesting to you), or below where
everybody is attractive to you! I've experienced both sides and neither is fulfilling at all. It's why spirituality is so fundamental to good relationships and all these guys who play "silly stupid games" are meditating away to reveal their authentic self. Cracks me up just thinking about it.
I of course started out at the low end of the scale so I really was chasing girls, in the sense I thought I didn't deserve them. By the way, the fact that I talk as if there is a "Them and Us" is suggestive of my unhealthy state of mind- beyond that way of thinking everybody is on the same side, as you know. So I decided to get this part of my life handled so I went out 7 nights a week for a year like a man on a mission. Then after getting what I wanted I found I didn't like it. Every time a girl fell for me my ego suddenly placed me as better than her... and I lost my attraction for her. Ridiculous. My mistake at this point was to come to the same conclusion as you- that girls are shallow blah blah and that I was all of a sudden, too good for them! I stopped going out to protect my precious ego, I refused to be more than polite to girls (except the special few around whom I was comfortable enough to be myself), preffering to hang out with my buddies, and only recently I've began to realise how god damned scared I am of getting hurt. The only way to be true to oneself is to have the courage to put your personality on the line and maybe, just maybe you'll meet somebody who connects deeply with that part of you. More often than not girls will have their egos in the way too so they'll still want to have sex with you, be your girlfriend, whatever because you're such an authentic, nonjudgmental, fun guy, but you'll know when the enlightened girls come along.
If you want to see the home of the spiritual chasers of womankind have a look at
Real Social Dynamics Nation - Powered by vBulletin. It's very ironic but at the same, they're really onto something and guys who stick with that are going to find a place of peace and sexual abundance. I recently include myself as one of those on the path to that place.
