Hi Wolverine,
I think what the other guy said, about porn, is probably very good advice (for guys), but for girls too, I wonder if there's social (external) presures, telling us to be this way or that, or whatever, and it's easy to lose a sense of our own naturalness, our own connection to ourselves, or wholeness.
May don't try forcing the issue, just keep on doing what you enjoy and tune in to whatever turns you on in life (not just in a sexual sense), and follow your bliss.
I just think sometimes, a lot of sexual and relationship issues, are down to ourselves forcing the issue, or having expectations as to how things should be, and if they're not, we get anxious about them. Letting go and accepting you, as you are, and digging where you're at! That's the way to go, baby!
x