[Tuumble]

We needed to do some shopping this afternoon and headed for a big out-of-town centre with a massive Tesco store. I was in there for about 10 seconds and I had people coming at me from all directions and felt totally overwhelmed.

People, people, people! I just want some space!

In that moment I decided once and for all that I didn't want to live in the city anymore. Even though we were technically on the outskirts it was still too much for me. Curiously, the first magazine I saw on the shelves was 'Coast - Living by the sea'. I wanted to cry.

I don't care for office work anymore, I don't care for my salary driven job anymore. In many ways i'd rather live in a caravan and have a simple life in the open air than have this constant fight for money to make ends meet.

This is no doubt been brought on by the fact that we've been given notice to move out of our rented house just four months after we moved in.

Selling up to clear our debts was supposed to make it better for us but it just gave us a break from the pain before the next course has been served up. The difference now is that we are totally at the mercy of the home owners and no longer can feel secure long term. We knew what we were getting into so we can't complain but it doesn't make it any easier.

If we go back to the time of the move, we were told just a week before that we could no longer have a 12 month tenancy but a six month one. In any other circumstances we would've pulled out but we were assured that it was just for simplicity's sake for the owner - wasn't it just.

We had already risked having to wait 2-3 more weeks before moving because of the Christmas period so we had little choice but to accept.

On Friday, my daughter's birthday, we were happily enjoying a family meal when the letting agent called saying they wanted to bring someone round to view the property. It was horrible being at the mercy of other like that but we still declined as we had family coming over. Thankfully they didn't insist so it has been postponed until this coming week.

Our real problem is that there is a dearth of available properties in the the area we want. We haven't really got time to move from the area by mid-June. If we were a couple, maybe, but we have the kids' schooling to think of.

I feel like I've been talking about moving and houses and money for all of the last 12 months and I'm stressed and uptight about it as I type. I can take one more year as long as that is all it is. I'll go mad otherwise.

Wherever we end up it has to be right - we've made too many wrong decisions and must make sure that our next move gives us peace. We need stability as family before it rips us apart.