I didn't mean to make you feel bad about your situation. I was actually joking about my situation, not trying to say 'I'm worse of than you' I'm not. I'm 29, just barely too old to get into idol, the vision impairment is very minor, no one notices, and I look okay, I get ID'd all the time. Yours does sound like a tough situation.
I'm going to ask you the tough questions.... please don't take offense...
One thing, you want to get up and practice with band-mates all the time and then tour, but you are afraid to play in front of anyone? Can you play in front of band-mates if you had them? That is the first thing to solve.
You got a piano, but now can't afford lessons? Why not get a cheap keyboard and speakers, and then afford more lessons? Have you thought along these lines?
You call yourself a grandma, but you're only 35. Please be kind to yourself 35 is not old by anyone's standards.
I know to be big you have to be 18 and brilliant and on idol, but the music scene is huge. There is room for everyone. Remember Steve's idea of abundance. Maybe you could find a niche as a somewhat big performer, sucessful, but not -quite- top 40. What genre of music do you want to play?
It sounds like you really want the social aspect of music, that's just the feeling I'm getting from you. If you cant get past playing in front of people, would you consider managing, being a roadie, or working in a recording studio? You could retrain for one of those things pretty easily... like a 2 year sound engineering course or something.
About Stage Fright: My first school band concert in grade 7 I think my face was beat red the whole time. I was near-dizzy I was so shy with it, but I still got the notes out somehow. I was in the front row of the band, too. Guess what, next time it got a little better, and a little better... most recently I sang solo for the early music ensemble in front of at least 75 people... We all got sick and I was the only one who was willing to -try- to sing, so all the duets became solos, just me. lol. I still have that CD of that concert. lol it's pretty bad, but not all bad. The only way to get over stage fright is to keep getting on stage. Just keep facing your fear. No matter what.
People identify with someone who's got a little bit of stage fright. It means you are human, and have passion. No one wants to watch a performer who's emotionless. The passion goes into the music.
the 'belting' thing has me worried. Please be sure you don't damage your voice. If it hurts, stop singing. It sounds like you may be pushing chest voice into head voice. Maybe spend some time on line researching singing. There are a lot of great singing forums out there, and courses. I don't know if I can recommend a course on here? Mods? Can I do that?
Have you tried Steve's exercise?  |