[fascinoma]

I used to avoid like the plague, dating guys who had a lot of friends and ran with their "wolf pack" of buddies, and did the fishing trips/hunting trips, etc. I was hurt by these types in my early 20s because they're usually not ready for a relationship in their early 20s, or needy enough to get into one anyway. One of these that I shied away from was someone I really felt a profound connection with.

So my last few partners were people who didn't have many friends, or a life.

I'm a writer and artist, and enjoy spending weekends with family or going out on my own. My last few partners have been extremely needy. I've struggled with time jealousy, not being able to hyperfocus enough on my projects, and partners even being jealous of my family members. I've struggled with not having enough time for my own friends in addition to work and everything else. I've struggled with my partners not HAVING friends (at all, sometimes). I've struggled with my partners wanting to completely mesh with me. I haven't written a single thing since being with my present partner.

If I'd gone with the "going fishin' with the buddies" types, I would've had the time to myself to do what I needed to do... what seemed horrible in my early twenties seems wonderful in my thirties.