trust can be regained in alot of the worst situations & scenarios.
The way to rebuild trust is consistency of action.
Be a man of your word, don't try to quit, DO quit.
Trying is a word that automatically implies failure.
I will try to quit already implies the possibility of failure.
I WILL QUIT! I DO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!
Your wife has a need in this relationship, the need for security & safety.
You don't offer her this anymore so she can't trust you anymore.
You lied and went against your own word.
Is weed the worst drug in the world - I don't think so but I don't smoke it.
If you feel that it's possible to smoke weed again and I think it is possible because you gave us a bit of defense in your opening post about how it's harmless. I'll give you a peek from the other side, it is harmless to you but very harmful to your wife's safety & security as well as your daughters. That is the viewpoint you need to look at it from, drop your viewpoint.
Don't argue about it with your wife either. Or look at this way, if you are right and she is wrong in this discussion but she feels she has a valid point and some good reasoning behind her views, is it possible that she could be 10, 20 or 30% right? If so then you should assume she is right. Agree with her.
Another thing to do to prove to your wife & kid and most importantly yourself.
Go cold turkey, no more weed and get help - get involved with some addiction treatment. It doesn't sound like it's extremely addictive to you but when you give reasons why it's ok to smoke weed you are defending the habit which shows that your ideas, mindset & pattern of behavior are still aligned with the possibility of smoking weed. Your wife sees this although you don't. Get in an addiction treatment program, let her know that you are doing this for you and not for her. And be sincere about it. Get your help and free yourself from the weed. Maybe it sounds stupid to hear that but again look at it from your wife's point of view.
Stop focusing on your wife, put that relationship on hold. Focus on your kid, be the best parent that you can be for her, that means being responsible - no more weed smoking, supporting your family and taking care of your kid, being an active parent and a great dad, someone your daughter will be proud to call her father when she grows up. That's your work for now.
Don't bother your wife and tell her "look I've changed, look what I'm doing".
That won't work, in fact this will drive her away even more. Just make the necessary changes in your life, be the best person you can be. If you make the required changes and are consistent in your actions, your wife may see a real change in you. It won't take your words or reasoning to convince her, just solid reputable actions from someone who can be trusted. Don't focus on weeks, look at it in terms of months & possibly years. Yes, it could take that long. You've caused a bit of damage and it will require time to fix what you've broken - there are no overnight magic potions to fix what you've done.
Don't bother your wife by calling her, telling her you love her and how much you need her. That will drive her away. You've hurt her and she won't allow that pain in her life anymore. Plus it will just show you have low self-esteem if you beg her to reconsider and why would she want to be with someone who has low self-esteem, that wouldn't add any value to her life.
You need to be a strong man, improve yourself for you first (that's important, if the change isn't really for you, it won't last), then for your kid and then for your wife.
Be a man of your word, be an awesome father, get enrolled in a treatment program and take care of business: supporting your family even if you can't have a relationship with your wife.
You show your wife you can do this and don't complain when things go bad every now & then (ex. "but look at all the progress I've made") and don't start up big conversations, don't call her 10 times every day to ask how she is, call to ask about your daughter and be polite and ask her how she is doing as well, keep it limited to small talk. Don't text msg her a dozen times a day, no need for roses & chocolates either. Don't attempt to be controlling or manipulative either, that will drive her further away. Just politely agree to everything she has to say, you were wrong so suck it up and agree that you were.
Just be a real man, if you can accomplish that, you will win back the trust of your wife and regain the family that you've lost. And if you can't do that... well you know the answer to that already, you're living that result right now.
If you want the best life, create it first in yourself. You want a great relationship, be the change in your relationship that will make it great.
No more smoking weed for you and it isn't as harmless as you thought either, I'd say it's very dangerous, it cost you your family - that's a pretty steep price to pay for smoking up and getting some temporary relief from reality.
Your life, choose what you want to do, I think it's pretty clear what needs to be done but that's just my opinion. Good Luck, let us know how it works out.
