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Your wife must have had a really difficult time knowing you would risk leaving her and your daughter behind just so you could smoke.
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This really is the crux of the situation and you've completely lost her trust because of it. It seems to me that you need to concede defeat to her, move out as she's demanded and take some concrete steps to putting the pot behind you for good. I think the key to doing that, and it seems to me that you haven't truly accepted this yet, is to come to the realization that if you don't want to risk jail, you can
never smoke pot again. Whether it's fair or not or whether it's a big deal or not is irrelevant. For you, it's ulimately important to your future. The Man demands that you stay clean and the Man will make your life and that of your loved ones completely miserable if you don't comply. So doesn't it make more sense to accept that which you can't control, as they say in AA, and simply stop smoking? This isn't a matter of principle. It's a matter of practicality, pure and simple.
As far as your wife is concerned, I have no idea whether or not she'll accept you back eventually, but I can tell you this: the longer you resist her demands to leave, the more her resolve will grow to permanently rid herself of the risk that comes with an intimate relationship with you. You can't win a battle like that.