Insecurity is a nasty beast, isn't it? The list you've written out here could describe me to a T...except gender reversed. Actually I never thought that guys had these same deep insecurities to the point of imagining scenarios all the time. Really, I thought that was just me
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Originally Posted by 25AndJustBeginning  Some times I spend time w/ her when I don't want to just so she won't go out and do something that makes me feel anxious.
I constantly fear losing her because I'm not good enough and so I try to be perfect rather than just being myself & handling the things that need to be handled.
I frequently imagine scenarios of her cheating; of me showing up and finding some guy at her apartment. This is a big one. This is also just one example, I imagine other cheating scenarios too.
I frequently worry about her talking to other guys.
I have very little confidence in myself and am rarely able to adopt the mindset that "If she wants to be w/ me then she will, if not then she won't."
I feel incredibly anxious when I think about her checking out other guys.
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I would invite you to join us over in the Allowing Vulnerability thread, specifically the post where Angela gives a checklist to follow in recognizing and dismantling beliefs here:
Allowing Vulnerability. That would be a good start. I've been on a path to beating insecurity for a while now. If you work on it you will be able to get past it.
I send you lots of support right now. I know how it feels to me -- really crappy -- so I think I have an idea of how tough this is for you. You will get lots of great advice here. And you can do it!
Also, read I Need Your Love by Byron Katie. Do the Work. Big help.