 What do I do about my insecurity?
I have a tendency to be ambiguous about things but right now I realize the value and actually want to be completely candid to overcome this. I am insecure. I finally realize it and it's affecting my ability to maintain a healthy relationship.
I'm not sure exactly how to say this best so I'm just gonna kick the bucket over and try to organize it the best I can...
Some times I spend time w/ her when I don't want to just so she won't go out and do something that makes me feel anxious.
I constantly fear losing her because I'm not good enough and so I try to be perfect rather than just being myself & handling the things that need to be handled.
I frequently imagine scenarios of her cheating; of me showing up and finding some guy at her apartment. This is a big one. This is also just one example, I imagine other cheating scenarios too.
I frequently worry about her talking to other guys.
I have very little confidence in myself and am rarely able to adopt the mindset that "If she wants to be w/ me then she will, if not then she won't."
I feel incredibly anxious when I think about her checking out other guys.
What do I do about all of this? Occasionally I am in the frame of mind where I feel confident in us, confident in the relationship, but it's usually only when things are good between us and when we're together (physically). When an issue arises I start worrying about the current issue and then I come up w/ other things to worry about, about issues from the past. I really need some advice right now. Anything at all will be appreciated. Thx.
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