[Zobra Buddha]

Hi there!

I’m in a tricky relationship.
2 days ago, a guy told me that he loves me, that I make his feel like a little kid full of wonder, that I am a beautiful goddess. I knew him for almost a year, and I fell in love with him at first sight. But when I first told him this, he rejected me.

All this time we remained simply as friends, fellow meditators, spiritual seekers. But I could also feel how much he resisted me. At first I was really hurt, and then I accepted it and moved on. I remained open to other guys, made many new friends, enjoyed myself. I guess I buried all these strong feeling for him.

When he told me that he loves me, I felt a passionate outburst once again. I still love him the same. I lost my virginity to him.

But I am not sure what he meant when he said – I love you. I haven’t seen him for almost 4 months. I missed him more then anyone. He was back to Toronto for only a week and then I will not see him for another month.

We spend a few hours together and then parted. The next day, he wanted to catch up with his friends… I’m ok with that, I know that he really missed them too. The following day, same story. Today we went to a get together party with all our friends. I would expect two things: 1) he hangs out with me some of the time during the party; 2) that he will be open about his confessions with other people.
But, the entire night he would talk to various friends and I didn’t get to even say hello to him. By 11 pm (before I had to leave), I asked him – “do you want to get some fresh air?” I made a drawing for him, wanted to share it.
He told me that his other friend already asked him to go buy some smokes together. He left, and then I left. Tomorrow he is leaving. I will not see him for a while.

He told me that he loves me, and I bring out all these wonderful things in him, but he didn’t want to spend more time with me during his short visit. That doesn’t make any sense. I am not sure what to take from this.

So basically, he kinda loves me, and kinda wants intimacy from me, but he still considers me no different then any other friend. I don’t know, but along with an intimate relationship come expectations and I don’t feel that he is ready to meet them. We can remain friends, but if he wants more, he has to give more.

I would expect that once there is passion going on, he will naturally enjoy my company more then others, he will want to be together. I don’t want to set rules, and demand this from him. I expect it to come naturally, and if it doesn’t, then he shouldn’t fool with my heart.

Is it fair from my side to expect more then what I am receiving?
I am not sure how to handle with situation.

Love,
Leela