Hi Silent Lucidity,
May ask you just to take a moment to examine that relelation you had about needed to feel you are working together for your relationship to work.
I don't know if you can see the link between what you just said and the Guiding Star theory. Think back to your intense relationship, you felt this amazing chemistry with someone you were working on a project with. Your brain assumed this chemistry was so good that it could never be attained again and the only way you could be that happy is if you could hold onto that experience. You've been trying to recreate it whenever you can.
So you start a relationship with someone new, but then because you are not working on something together your brain thinks that something is wrong because it has a mismatch. It isn't necessarily that your relationship is wrong, it is just that you aren't recreating your previous experience in your current one because you are frozen in time. So you say it isn't working, and break it off / fall out of love - all because you are trying to seek something that isn't there any more.
Examine that conclusion "I have to be working towards something for it to be love" and see if it is really true. Is that conclusion working for you or is it causing you problems?
|