Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

robc · 04-02-2008, 10:21 PM

Work on loving yourself, time to pump up your self-esteem...

After reading your post I can tell you have a huge self-esteem problem but you've taken a step in the right direction by letting him go.

One way to fight fire with fire is the next time he confronts you and tells you that you are the reason why he acts the way he does, don't argue with him.
In fact, just agree with him 100%. Tell him he is right, that you are the reason that he acts the way he does. He obviously believes this enough himself, agree with him and tell him because of that same reason (that he is the way he is because of what you do) that you can't see him anymore. Agree that it's your fault (obviously it's not true but agree) and tell him that you don't like causing that reaction in him and that you can't change so this will always be the way it is. I'm sure you'll get a puzzled look from him because instead of arguing with him and trying to defend yourself against his claims, you are agreeing with him and essentially putting up a white flag. He has nothing left to argue with at this point because you've told him he is right and that it's your fault (again it isn't your fault but saying this will get rid of him). And then tell him you can't go on being with him because you won't change and you will always bring the worst out in him, you're leaving him for his own good and that he deserves someone alot better than you.

That should take the wind out of his sails and you can live your life without this bum from now on without having to worry about going back to him.

He's been messing with your mind long enough making you believe something that isn't true, maybe you should return the favor; it will definitely screw up his mindset.

04-02-2008, 10:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
robc Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 298	Work on loving yourself, time to pump up your self-esteem... Work on loving yourself, time to pump up your self-esteem... After reading your post I can tell you have a huge self-esteem problem but you've taken a step in the right direction by letting him go. One way to fight fire with fire is the next time he confronts you and tells you that you are the reason why he acts the way he does, don't argue with him. In fact, just agree with him 100%. Tell him he is right, that you are the reason that he acts the way he does. He obviously believes this enough himself, agree with him and tell him because of that same reason (that he is the way he is because of what you do) that you can't see him anymore. Agree that it's your fault (obviously it's not true but agree) and tell him that you don't like causing that reaction in him and that you can't change so this will always be the way it is. I'm sure you'll get a puzzled look from him because instead of arguing with him and trying to defend yourself against his claims, you are agreeing with him and essentially putting up a white flag. He has nothing left to argue with at this point because you've told him he is right and that it's your fault (again it isn't your fault but saying this will get rid of him). And then tell him you can't go on being with him because you won't change and you will always bring the worst out in him, you're leaving him for his own good and that he deserves someone alot better than you. That should take the wind out of his sails and you can live your life without this bum from now on without having to worry about going back to him. He's been messing with your mind long enough making you believe something that isn't true, maybe you should return the favor; it will definitely screw up his mindset.