Curious coincedence as I happen to be experiencing the same problem. Woah time for my background :P
Well actually this is slightly different because my problem is not knowing how to deal with my ex's new boyfriend, but instead my ex herself. She did a lot of bad things to me. Heres a list
- Dumped me six times in six months
- Kissed two other guys during our relationship, once when she was completely sober
- Accused me of only wanting her for sex - an odd accusation since I never talked about sex with her and am very much a virgin.
- Spent a week propositioning me. This culminated in one night where she said she would love to get back together with me. Yet the very next day she started dating someone I know and she didn't apologise for two days.
Now... I know the problem lies partly with myself and my inability to move on from ex-girlfriends. I'm currently working on that area and I'm coming on leaps and bounds which is great. The problem is, is that I don't know how to deal with her anymore. She wants us to remain friends and yet the difficulty with that is that I don't want to fall into the old habit of - split-up, friends, start dating, split-up etc. etc. I want to move on and find someone more... reliable. And pleasant.
Another thing - do you think it would be ok for me to harbour thoughts of detest for the above things she did to me. Or do you think that shows a weakness of character? I'm not exactly sure. It's tempting to go down the path of hatred but I don't want that at all really. Do you have any advice on how to forgive someone who did terrible things to you who still wants to be friends with you? (If that last sentence doesn't make sense, I do apologise)
Cheers in advance