I have also been in a depressed mood throughout large parts of my
life, and have just recently made some progress with it. It is a bit
hard to tell from you post how severe your depression is, but if you
have felt like this for such a long time I really think you should get
some help. Suicide thoughts or problems getting by in your life would
be clear indications that it is quite severe, and if that is the case
you should really go see a doctor/therapist. If you are really deeply
depressed, just taking this step may seem like an insurmountable task,
but you should put this up as your highest priority goal and make sure
to do it.
First thing you need to do is to make clear to yourself that you do
deserve a better life than this, that you do deserve to be a happy and
live a meaningsful life. The best way for you to serve mankind and
make a contribution is to first free yourself from depression in order
to give yourself the power for contributing to others.
Depression sucks out all your energy, so you must be really
conservative with what little energy you do have and use it to in the
best possible and most economical way to steer yourself out of depression.
Try to minimize your obligations. Go through everything that you feel
you must do, but that you don't really have a desire to do and try to
think rationally about if it is really absolutely necessary for you to
do it. You must learn to say no to people. Helping others can be
good for you since it give you a sense of purpose, but as soon as you
feel that it is draining you, you need to say no.
Steve's blog is a wonderful resource and if you haven't already, I
think it is well worth it to start from the beginning and read a blog
entry or two each morning. They contain alot of good advice on how to
put your life together and are also very motivational, and it is thus
good to read them every day =). For me, they have been the most
important help in my fight against depression, and I am truly grateful
to Steve for writing them and publish them online for free.
One particular thing that I have come to understand through reading
them is that my life and mind is something that I design myself.
Changing my mind and thought patterns is pretty much like fiddling
with a computer program or any other kind of machinery. Getting free
from depression is like any other project, and I can use my rational
mind for planning and testing different strategies for reaching the
goal of being free of depression. This has been a huge shift in my
thinking and it has been very empowering to think of life in this way.
Finally, I don't think you should rule out medicine. It may lift the
heavy clouds of depression that stops your mind from working
effectively, and help you sort out the causes for your depression,
through therpay and/or own work on your personal development. Modern
SSRI-preparates (Prozac etc.) have quite mild side effects, but you
should maybe be a bit careful with stronger types of medicines. You
should of course discuss this with your doctor.  |