Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - I need your love - is that true? By Byron Katie

carenkh · 04-01-2008, 10:56 PM

I haven't yet read that book, but I have read Loving What Is and I'm now in the middle of A Thousand Names for Joy. I love her work, and what she's brought.

I'm thinking... if you do the work on the thought that you need a person to be a certain way, it doesn't necessarily mean that you'd just stay with that person. I think it would free you up to make a more honest choice. Rather than staying with them, either telling them or thinking that they need to change for you to be happy, and having that whole drama. You can get to a point of seeing, "Oh, OK, I don't need for Steve to have a big weenie for me to be happy. BUT I do want a big weenie in my relationship, so I'm going to move on." In other words, you don't need that person to change, but you may choose to not be with them the way they are.

I don't know if this is clear or not - hope I've gotten across what I wanted to say!

04-01-2008, 10:56 PM	#6 (permalink)
carenkh Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 1,136	I haven't yet read that book, but I have read Loving What Is and I'm now in the middle of A Thousand Names for Joy. I love her work, and what she's brought. I'm thinking... if you do the work on the thought that you need a person to be a certain way, it doesn't necessarily mean that you'd just stay with that person. I think it would free you up to make a more honest choice. Rather than staying with them, either telling them or thinking that they need to change for you to be happy, and having that whole drama. You can get to a point of seeing, "Oh, OK, I don't need for Steve to have a big weenie for me to be happy. BUT I do want a big weenie in my relationship, so I'm going to move on." In other words, you don't need that person to change, but you may choose to not be with them the way they are. I don't know if this is clear or not - hope I've gotten across what I wanted to say!