James, I'm assuming this girl who seemed interested, but wasn't...she was young, no? Just a girl, figuring out what she wants and needs.
When I was young, I was quite shady to a couple of guys. Honestly, it wasn't about them. It was about me trying to figure out who I was. And, for some people (like me), negative actions are powerful ways to know myself.
Now, I am a very different person because I'm older and more experienced.
Also - when it comes to romantic love - disappointments hurt us much more than in any other type of relationship. There were probably other times in your life when some male acquaintance promised you guys would hang out, but it never happened. I'm guessing you didn't give it a second thought. However, if it was a girl - then it would be much more painful.
Everyone eventually disappoints us, because sometimes their agenda and ours doesn't totally mesh. It's not the girl's fault that you take her actions much more personally than you would another guy's. That your decision (and the decision of most people, it seems).
If a male acquaintance flakes out on you, do you decide you will never make plans with another male acquaintance again? Of course not.
So, when people say that not trusting women is actually you not trusting yourself - it's totally true. You don't trust that your ego can withstand a woman's rejection. Your ego is healthy enough to withstand other types of rejection - but not a woman's. That's 100% your decision to give women that power.
Personally, I would love to get to the point where I can treat my boyfriends like I do female friends - I never take anything my female friends personally. I give them space to live their own life, and I'm always happy to see them, even after months of no contact.
My female friends are not superior people to my boyfriends - it's just that I treat them differently, because my ego isn't wrapped up in my friendships. If my friend acts badly, then I can let her go and not think much of it later. But if a boyfriend does a similar thing, I obsess over it like it's the end of the world.
Granted, I think sex changes the dynamic of relationships. But, shouldn't you be even more kind and understanding to the person you share your body with?
I don't know....just my rambling thoughts.
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