Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorebird  Is going back that bad an idea? |
"Going back" just doesn't work for me in living a life I love.
Which is not to say that I can't go forward with someone I've already been in a relationship with. It means: trying to recapture something you had, or to force a relationship into a box of how you think it *should* go, is a recipe for No Freedom.
If you love a person with whom you broke up in the past and want to forge a loving, long-term, mutually beneficial relationship (LLTMBR) with herm, I think you'll be most successful if you approach it like a brand-new relationship, and greet the person as if you have never met herm before. Actually, I think it's a good idea to treat everybody like that -- like you are meeting them newly each time. You have memories, yes; but be alert to the fact that like you can grow and adapt and are a new person in each moment, so is everyone else. You can never entirely know someone -- not even yourself.
I think if you attempt to recapture something or get something back, you are living in the past. More power is available when you welcome the present moment, and allow life to unfold as it will. That may include making a concerted effort to make an LLTMBR work with someone you've been with before; it may also involve more "letting go" -- simply because you've got more to let go of -- memories, grudges, old pain together -- than you might with someone new. That can be a great learning experience, and a wonderful opportunity to nurture fulfilling love!
And if you go into such a relationship being the way same way you were being, you can expect it to go pretty much the same way it did before. Why not try on a new way of being, one that inspires you, as you relate to people -- both the ones you've been involved with and the ones you've never met.