[Smarky]

I've been suffering from this for quite awhile now and it's something that is completely crippling me, it's ruining my life and making what I want to do so difficult! it's stopping me performing cause my performances are so patchy, sometimes I can work for a few hours and then it strikes, sometimes it hits straight away.

When I feel like this I can't think or concentrate and I get very confused / frustrated very quickly, so it has been very hard for me to nail down what is going on.

I've recently been able to pin point a few things about it which let me to do some research.

I see these strange stringy things in front of my eyes, they are difficult to notice but when i feel like this I can see them clearly, not at other times. I researched this and apprently this is called "floaters"

This seems to strike seemingly randomly, but generally a few times a day and will generally last for a few hours, making most days productively useless.

However, the puzzling fact to me has always been I do not suffer this apart from when I'm at home, trying to work. When I am actually at work, no Problem, when I am out with friends, no problem, only when i am at home is there a problem.

I read online about Anxiety, now to me I don't understand this and the idea of me having that seems crazy however when i read more from the BBC website:

* easily lose their patience

Absoutely! When this strikes and i am working on something i have very little patience, it needs to work and work straight away. Again wehn it does strike it's fine, like when I am out with friends I have lots of patience, I can queue anywhere for hours for example.

* have difficulty concentrating

Heck yea! When it strikes nothing i can do , i just can't focus or make sense of anything and it just gets worse.

* think constantly about the worst outcome

I have a little problem with this. Perhaps more than i realize, but i'm not the big "downer"

* have difficulty sleeping

This usually tires me out so no, however when It hits and I feel like this I certainly can't sleep although I feel tired. (I have no problem sleeping at night)

* become depressed and/or

Yes!

* become preoccupied with, or obsessional about, one subject

Well this is the thing, the entire time I am at home I am obsessing over doing great things, how to do it, the correct system I need to use, what i need to do, what I need to learn. All the time I am at home I am focused on that and all the time I am at home I feel like this!

physical symptoms. These can include:

* excessive thirst

YES YES YES!! On days I feel like this the worst I am extremely thristy! Somedays I don't have much of a thrist, these are the days I am feeling like this a lot less!

* frequent urinating

Yes and it's getting worse!

* periods of intense pounding heart

I've had this a couple of times!

* pins and needles

Yes, although I don't get it an extreme amount I seem to get this more than anyone else I know.

I've set before to people I know how frustrated I am getting with this, because I either feel rubbish most of the day or when I don't feel too bad, by the end of it after working at home I feel rubbish again, which would explain anxiety, although i've never really thought about this.