 Embrace the Grief
Hi MarleneA,
I'm sorry for your loss.
My wife of 20 years, Rhonda, died almost 3 years ago in a car accident we were both in. It was very traumatic for my son (then 25), my daughter (then 18), and me (then 45).
I decided early on to embrace the emotions. I cried everyday for months, I felt like I wanted to die, but I carried on with my life.
I attended professional counseling for several months with an associate that I've known and trusted for years. It was very helpful to me.
You might want to read the excellent book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People."
I also felt it important to talk openly about such emotions with family, friends, associates, and my students to help ease their discomfort for not knowing what to say and to help them learn to deal with their own mortality.
Emotions from grief must be dealt with, because they will come out one way or another. Grief is a natural part of healing and life. We are designed to deal with it. However, because it is unpleasant, many people choose to suppress grief through drugs such as antidepressants, or by ignoring it altogether. This makes it possible for grief to be manifested months or even years later in the form of physical ailments (e.g., heart problems or immune system deficiencies).
I just know that embracing the process helped me tremendously to heal and move on with my life. I have since remarried, but I will never forget or stop loving my Rhonda.
I hope this helps,
Mike Estep
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