This poor funny guy is just a symptom for you in your self-hate. Your subconscious mind has tried to find something unnattainable to aim for so you can continue to loath yourself. It's hard to drag your focus back. I know, I know, he's a great distraction from the boring "trying to care about me" stuff. It's because what you're doing to improve your relationship with yourself at the moment is not working!
I'll suggest EFT, (my website has a free beginner's guide or check my video
on Youtube ) cos its the easiest and best way I know to improve your life, and simply start with a statement like "Even though I hate myself, I'm open to the possibility that I can change that".
I'd also suggest that you do EFT on whatever is bothering you whenever it occurs or as soon as possible afterwards. Then, compile a list of the 5 nastiest things that ever happened to you, from birth onwards. Spend half an hour a day working through that list, doing EFT on each one til it doesn't bother you at all and you could tell someone about it without flinching at all. When you've done that, make another list of the 5 nastiest events, and do it again, half an hour a day. Over a few weeks, if you do this, I promise, you will feel better, and this guy will seem irrelevent. Check my webpage for articles about using EFT, and let me know if you get stuck. Always happy to help.
Wishing you joy