Yeah I'm from kind of the same boat. What got me going was a friend that was "popular" but was into the same tech as me. He got me some conections, told me to stop geling my hair and to grow it out (which, may sound superfical and retarded) but was one of the things that changed and propelled me the most. Since then, I wasn't a very good friend apparently, and we kind of had a falling out, but if it wasn't for that, I still think I'd be anti social and a loser kid.
It's not an over night thing, going from such low self esteem and status all your life, to a confident and high status person. It takes years, so don't expect any of you to become some super interesting or social person in a few days or weeks if you haven't been for your whole life.
Also, take it easy on yourselves. I find that my expectations on myself are high, and I treat myself as if I've been like that my whole life when I screw up and should know better or have succeded. Like I've made more friends in the last 3 years than I have all years previous to that combined, and I'm still hard on myself that I have no friends.