You mean to say that you aren't smart enough or pretty enough or perfect enough for yourself. You're simply projecting your own self-evaluation onto him.
You want to be different from who you are? Then do something different. Learn something different. Think something different. Read about new philosophies. Take up new hobbies. Beliefs->thoughts->feelings->actions. Change one, and watch how it affects the others. If you can change your beliefs, then you can change who you are. That's what you want, isn't it?